Have any of you ever went through this situation too?
There were these series of bad luck that had befallen me. A lot of it happened because of conspiracies that were planned behind me or so i thought. I did reflect on myself but there were possibilities that it was not all me that had me landed in that position.... it could have been someone else. How am i to explain this? Maybe i should start from the beginning.
I was tied up in a political situation. I did not play any political strategies, i swear when i ran for president. I ran from my heart. I did and said what i thought was best for the organisation i was in. Well, there were complications and repercussions. I actually accepted the results fairly with an open heart. Of course my ego was bruised and I was sad. But, when I later learnt that there were a lot of things that were happening or else happened behind my back that well most probably indirectly or else indirectly influenced the results, I went into an even deeper depression.
I asked myself what did i do to deserved this. Had I treated anyone indifferently to receive this type of treatment. What I thought was a fair play had turned out to be some part of a political arena. I had doubts and I kept asking myself who my real friends are. After 2 years of my life being spent in this organisation i finally realized, my so called big ring of friends was bogus. Those who truly were concerned over me is just a handful. Well, some people would have said i'd been lucky since well, I know who my true friends are. I mean, quality is so much better than quantity right? But have you ever thought about the amount of time i spent being with people that did not appreciate me?
OkOk... Actually i do not want to dawdle in my past so much. The point of this blog is that I have assumed or suspected that there were people who conspired and contributed to my downfall. Sometimes i wish that they will not be successful in the future. I prayed karma would happen and they would not be able to reach certain heights (WOW! Talk about me being evil?) After all the drama, I watched them from the corner of my eye. They seem to live their life pretty well. They were happy, they had their own group of friends. They seemed normal, not like the devil i painted them in my memories. Then i ask myself, was i wrong? When i hanged out with them in the 1st place, i did not have the notion that they were capable of such nasty stuff. I never thought that they would come up with such plans. Maybe they had never conspired. Maybe they didn't do anything to me? Maybe it was all part of my imagination. I was delirious and I tried to protect myself from further depression.
Until now... well, I gave up in finding the answers. I have left this incident as a thing of the past. I choose to look to the future and of course, learn from it. I was naiive, definitely and i hope not to be so innocent and more mature when I work. But this question always come up in my mind... "Was it me?" ... And the answer will be unknown forever. It is redundant to keep searching for it huh?
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6 comments:
Well, i cant comment on this one. Just that maybe u should look back, maybe u have somehow hurt someone without noticing it. Maybe some of your acquaintances have some expectations you kindda ignored? I'm not sure...sometimes other peoples views are different than yours and maybe somehow what you do might not be a big deal to you, but for them its a big deal. Well, politics are tough. Its like playing a game of schmaksvile.
So be careful..
In my opinion,.................
Power & Politics!! Things that cannot be avoided when we join an organization.
Either ''ignore it'' or ''play with it''.
There is one thing i am very sure. We need to deal thing in a PROFESSIONAL way. Do not mix things with personal issues especially emotional thing. This is particularly true in an organization.
I strongly believe that ''you assume your responsibility'' while ''I assume my responsibility''. So if everyone stick with the pre-determined agreement/rules that been established by the everyone ,there will be no problem.
The problems seem be arised when some people break the agreement/rules and started to take things personally.
I don't thing it is good to mix up friendship with other things especially work-related stuff or formal-stuff.
''It's nothing personal, it's just business''
Ah chang
Muhaimin: Probably i intimidated people because of my straightforwardness. Somehow, I have to learn to be more tactful huh?
Chang: I agree with the 'it's nothing personal, it's just business'. I never mix frenship and work but come on... this was a student organisation in the 1st place. And i believed in developing the members, i didn't think of using this to succeed. Then again i was naiive, and i have learnt from it. I believe i can bring myself better when i penetrate the working life.
Hmm...straight forwardness, i like that..haha..sadly not many people do though. Maybe my XP in the west has taught me more about how to handle straight forwardness where a foreigner can tell a German something like "I think Germans are self centered" discuss about it and still be cool with each other... i don't think a typical Malaysian would be cool with this level of straight forwardness. But in the end, you will always live in a community. you cant live with everybody hating you. but at the same time you cant please everyone.
Perhaps, I don’t know the real A-Z real situation.
In reality, most of the time people judge you on ’’HOW u do things’’ not ‘’WHAT things u have done’’
Your good intention may be wrongly misinterpreted on the way you handle things.
I think you are right that to STOP analyzing and reasoning whether you done anything wrong or right since you have analyzed about it for long time. If a thing is damaged and impossible to be fixed, don’t fix it. Just leave it alone.
Neither you shall pray karma to wish them bad things fall upon them nor wish them dead.
I agreed with you that you shall close this topic and look forward for new challenges!
Ah Chang
Keep up the good work.
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